I love to travel

I love technology – from a user perspective

I am a writer

I got my start working with technology at Digital Equipment Corporation. All we did was swap out parts and monitors until IBM came out with a Personal Computer: the PC. 

Then I had to learn MS-DOS and eventually Windows 3.1. I burned out after a few years and I was done with tech.

I moved from NY to LA in my quest to become a Hollywood screenwriter. I needed a real job so I worked in the operations department of a public relations company. I supported accounting and the Network Administrator.

The NA got fired and I was promoted to Operations Manager. Unfortunately, I decided to pursue my network certification in Novell NetWare rather than Windows Server. The next year, the company switched over to Windows Server 3.51.

In the meantime, my scripts were being read by Hollywood agents for people like Laurence Fishburne, but I wasn’t cutting it.

I stayed in the tech field because the money was lovely, but I continued to write and submit my work to screenwriting contests. Quentin Tarantino burst into the Hollywood scene, followed by Robert Rodriguez. I read Robert’s book, Rebel Without A Crew, and that’s when I got the brilliant idea to make an independent low-budget movie.

I knew nothing about making movies, cameras, directing, producing, etc. I also didn’t have any equipment. (This was long before the iPhone came out).

I spent a year studying cinematography, film production, directing, and acting. All the while I was running several side hustles to make money to buy the equipment I needed. 

By this time, I had gotten married, had two children, and had a condo. I was working with another PR agency, and I was getting bonuses for Christmas and the end of the year that I set aside for my film production fund.

In 200,3 I made a short film called Get Spielberg! It was a farce about four desperate actors who kidnapped a Hollywood director to force him to greenlight their film. It was cheesy and a lot of fun.

I made a lot of friends who were aspiring actors and filmmakers. I went all out the following year and made a feature-length low-budget film called Sex Shoes & Unicorns. I met more actors and filmmakers and partnered with a fellow University of Phoenix student to make films and shoot weddings.

I shot a few weddings and corporate videos, and then in 2006, we shot six short films. 

Then we made Broken Hearts Club, I Know Who Shot You, Love is for Democrats, Valerie and Sid, El Ride, The First Time, and Renounced.

It was crazy.  At the end of the year, we entered the Los Angeles Shorts Festival. All four films we submitted were accepted. I was the only director with three films, and the only production company with four films in the event. 

I don’t think anyone noticed. So, in 2009, I went back and made a higher-quality no-budget indie film called Resurrection of Serious Rogers. It was a genre flick with a nod to B-movies.

I started to pitch RSR to distribution studios, and I connected with the Independent Film and Television Alliance (IFTA).  IFTA connected me to NBCUniversal Television Studios. 

Suddenly, I was part of a whirlwind 4-year program that connected independent film producers with TV execs to develop and pitch new TV show ideas. 

The first year, I had such anxiety about “pitching” that I refused to do it in person. I crafted pitch documents using my experience in PR and PowerPoint and emailed them to the TV execs. 

At the beginning of year two, there was a briefing meeting, and I discovered that my peers had had several in-person pitch meetings! I was mortified. I decided it was now or never to pitch in person like the rest of society.

In year two, I had four pitch meetings. In year three, I had eight. 

I had a significant health crisis during the third year that nearly took my life. Oh, and I was divorced by this time, too.

In year four, I had too many pitch meetings to count. I met with all of the following, sometimes more than once:

• NBC Alternative Programming
• NBC Drama
• NBC Comedy
• Syfy
• Sprout 
• Bravo
• Oxygen
• E! Entertainment
• Esquire
• USA Network
• Chiller

Because of my health crisis I mentioned earlier, I no longer had access to a vehicle. I had to take public transportation to these meetings and would often be on a bus or train for 2 hours before and after the meeting. 

Still, I persevered. There were times I had several pitch meetings in one day. I was on fire.

I secured TV pilot development deals for two projects with two separate teams. I invested in opportunities and tens of thousands of dollars in the pockets of three individuals who only needed to work with me to help me create feasible TV shows for Bravo and USA. 

Unfortunately, there is no happy ending.  All three people got greedy, short-sighted, and pretentious. They thought they knew more than I did, despite my measurable success. As in the quintessential Hollywood story, they stabbed me in the back and ruined the opportunity.

I took the money and cried (basically). I stepped away from the business. My passion was drained. 

During this time, I was still dating occasionally. It was online dating, mostly.

I was left quite bitter from my divorce, so nothing was going on too seriously. I had been unfaithful, but my wife and I worked through it — or so I thought. We were together for five more years until one day she told me, she didn’t love me anymore.

She told me she realized she didn’t love me when we were arguing one day, and she started crying– but I didn’t try to comfort her. Basically, she fell out of love with me when she realized she couldn’t manipulate me with her tears anymore.

I wish I had gotten a whiff of Red Pill at this time. I would have handled things differently. I’m not necessarily red pill now, but some of the concepts are pretty useful for successful men over 50.

I do not believe in everything Red Pill preaches, but it certainly would have gotten me out of my funk at the time.

Then I met a young Vietnamese woman named Thao, and we started kind of, sort of, dating. She was twenty years younger than I was, so it helped that I was often in the gym. 

The bitterness of my divorce still plagued me, so when things got serious between us, I behaved poorly. It was 100% my fault. 

When my relationship with Thao ended, I realized that I could probably stand to be in a serious relationship again once I got my shit together. What’s more, I welcomed the idea of being in a relationship again.

I put the word out, and one thing led to another. A coworker introduced me to Nghia via Facebook.  I wasn’t interested in having a long-distance relationship, but Nghia was studying English and I wanted someone to help me with Vietnamese since I worked in a Vietnamese community.

At the time, I knew nothing about the concept of women being more traditional in Southeast Asia. However, I recognized certain activities within the Vietnamese community. Vietnamese American men weren’t marrying Vietnamese American women. They were returning to Vietnam to find a wife.

Nghia and I spoke often and for hours at a time. I would talk to her at work or while she was studying her English homework. We began flirting and talking about what it would be like to meet in person. 

I soon noticed how happy Nghia looked when I called. There was no pretense, no gamesmanship, and no fake-outs. She was pleased when I called, so she looked pleased. 

I thought to myself, “Oh my God. She likes me.”

One discussion led to another, and Nghia and I agreed to meet in person. It was much easier for me to fly out to Vietnam, so I planned a trip in December 2017. I took one week of vacation and booked a hotel and an expensive flight. 

I love planes and the magic of air travel, but I’m not fond of heights; thus, I have a weird love/hate relationship with flying. I spent over 26 hours going to Vietnam, but I reveled in every minute of it–except the turbulence.

My love of travel had begun!

Nghia and I spent five days together. We visited coffee shops, ate Japanese food, and drank lots of Vietnamese coffee. The night before my flight, we took a scooter tour through Districts 1, 4, and 7. Finally, on the sixth day, Nghia escorted me back to Tan Son Nhat Airport for my return flight to the US. 

She cried as I boarded the plane. I wondered when I’d get a chance to return. Three months later, I filed the K1 (Fiancé) Visa Petition.

I learned a lot about what to do and what not to do regarding the visa process. The Trump Administration clamped down on immigration, and we were asked to supply more information to the USCIS.

We had our first interview, which I did not attend. Nghia did not get the visa at the end of the interview. I prepared a ton of additional paperwork and made arrangements to see her again. 

On my next visit to Vietnam, I stayed for two weeks. I did the tourist thing for the first week in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City). During the second week, we took a bus and stayed with her parents about thirty minutes from Phan Tiet.

I met many of Nghia’s friends and family. They even had a party in my honor. We sang karaoke and drank lots of beer and rice wine. 

All the men tried to drink me under the table. They couldn’t do it. 

Six months later, I flew out to Vietnam again in December 2019. We were still waiting for word from the USCIS and the State Department on the status of our case. Unfortunately, when the word did arrive, it was bad news. Our petition had expired.

Three months later, on my birthday in 2020, Governor Newsom shut down the state of California for everyone but essential workers. Within months, global air travel was shut down, and I had no idea when I’d ever be able to fly out of the country.

Vietnam went on lockdown, too, and foreigners weren’t allowed in. Planes were grounded worldwide. The world was closed off. Our visa petition had crashed and burned.

We started from scratch. New year. New petition. New home.

I had moved to a larger, more expensive apartment during the pandemic in preparation for Nghia’s arrival. Now we didn’t know when she’d come to America. Still, it was good to say goodbye to my former Taiwanese roommate.

By this time, I had amassed letters from my Congressman and State Assemblyperson to advocate for Nghia’s visa. 

At work, I was responsible for managing a million-dollar security account for the client. I banked my vacation time to prepare for my next trip to Vietnam. 

I started watching a lot of travel vloggers on YouTube, and they helped me get familiar with the countries in Southeast Asia and Northern Africa that I wanted to visit.

I had very little interest in visiting Europe, except for Turkey and Greece,

I used my USMC map-reading skills to bolster my global geographical awareness. I pinpointed areas of interest in Thailand (Chiang Mai, Bangkok), Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur), Cambodia, South Korea, Singapore, and Japan.

I wanted to travel so badly I could taste it.

When the world started to reopen, I immediately booked a flight back to Vietnam. I booked a flight with Singapore Airlines that included a long layover at Changi Airport to allow me to see Jewel.

This time, Nghia and I planned to visit Da Nang. We flew with Vietnam Airlines. We visited Ba Na Hills and saw the Golden Bridge. Again, my fear of heights gave me a love-hate relationship with the bridge and the long cable-car ride up.

Our plans changed when I got food poisoning. Luckily, I made it back safely on the plane, but our plans to visit her parents fell through. There was no way I’d survive a 5-hour bus ride.

On my way home, I had a planned layover in Singapore at Changi Airport. In transit, I tweaked my back and set off my sciatica. I spent eight torturous hours in the airport, barely able to walk around. My dreams of seeing the waterfall in Jewel and eating at Shake Shack were dashed.

Fast forward one year, and I’m on my way back to Vietnam once again on Singapore Airlines. This time, Nghia and I have a scheduled interview at the US Consulate for her visa.  

Things did not go as planned. But that’s another story.