I never thought I would get married for a second time.
In fact, I didn’t want to get married again. Ever. But that all changed in 2016, and I became open to the realities of having someone at my side. Going through life in my later years alone was no longer an option.
It’s just like Kevin Samuels said: “Buy a dog. Die alone”
This goes for men or women. I got a dog named Maximus. And he was going to be my companion.
Getting into a new relationship after a divorce wasn’t easy. I at least knew what I wanted and what I would never put up with again. My boundaries were clear.
Gone was the idea of sacrificing my inner peace because I was afraid of upsetting my partner. If there was a problem, I was going to bring it up sooner rather than later. And we would fix my so-called delivery after we addressed the issue first—and hopefully fully resolved it.
Gone was the idea of acceptable double standards based solely on a woman’s right to change her mind. That’s some bullshit at any time and for any reason.
And gone was the idea that I, as a man, somehow had to be perfect. And she, as a woman, was allowed to be flawed, but accepted. We could both be flawed and imperfect, but tolerated.
Lastly, gone was the idea that love is only a feeling. Love is an action, many actions, and many behaviors. And these behaviors are not made perfect through our sex. That is, a woman’s behaviors when she’s displaying love aren’t automatically better than a man’s. I accepted the reality that my expression of love is as powerful as a woman’s. They are as specific to me as my fingerprint.
Through these ideals, I was able to have a long-term girlfriend again. When it ended, I was to think positively about whatever and whoever came next –
And that ideal led me to Vietnam… and my current wife.
If you’re like me, and you can see yourself getting married after all the shit you’ve been through —
But you want to take steps to ensure you don’t go through “the shit” again… hit me up. Let’s talk.