I am a Passport Brother. A Bluebook Gentleman. I said it; I willingly admit it and I won’t take it back.
In simple terms, a Passport Bro is someone who travels abroad to meet a new lover or someone who has chosen to commit to a long-term relationship with someone outside of their home country and travels frequently to maintain the relationship
In my case, I courted a young woman who lived 7,955 miles away (as the crow flies) or 12,802 kilometers. I did this rather than develop a relationship with a woman who lived within my community.
What being a Passport Brother (Bro) doesn’t mean is the following: it doesn’t mean that I hate Black women. I am African-American and I’ve dated many different women, however, all but one of my long-term relationships (over 10 months) have been with Black women.
It also doesn’t mean I hate women, nor am I a misogynist. I love everything about being in the presence of a fit, feminine, and friendly woman.
Passport Bros are not “dusty, broke, or ugly” men. Being a Passport Bro doesn’t mean I was a bottom feeder who couldn’t get a woman locally. I was married for sixteen years and I’ve made substantial income working in multiple industries. It doesn’t mean I had no “game” or ability to talk with women. While I’ve never been the guy to walk into a club or bar and speak with every woman in the place, I developed the skills to have perfectly pleasant one-on-one conversations with women as a young adult.
Everything mentioned above is what many Western women would like the world to think about Passport Brothers. Unfortunately, in typical fashion, many Western women resort to shame, insults, and guilt when discussing any action men take in the dating arena that they do not like. Thank God I am not in that world anymore. The hypocrisy and gamesmanship of some women are staggering.
Here are some truths about most men who are passport brothers:
- They have ample financial means to travel to another country and pay for hotel accommodations, food, and airfare
- They possess a sufficient financial IQ to know that the US dollar has a greater value in places outside of the U.S.
- They have the follow-through skills to research the cultures of different countries and have learned that women are raised differently in other parts of the world
- Are ready to commit to one woman for the rest of their life
Much Bigger than Dating
There is something else about the passport bros movement that women have missed entirely. While women try to shame men like myself, who have chosen to direct their relationship intentions elsewhere, they are missing the bigger transformation men experience.
The Passport Brothers movement is also about the cultural education of men. This education includes world geography, international politics, foreign governments, foreign languages, family dynamics, and so much more. Most men embarking on the adventure of traveling to a new country for the first time will spend 8-24 hours in preparation and intentional research of that country. This substantial new knowledge can amount to a semester or two of college-level study in my opinion.
In the past, this cultural education was relegated only to men of substantial means or men in the military. Now it is free to every young man age 18 or up with a passport.
Conversely, while this new knowledge adds to the experience of men, it compels women to resort to quoting outdated information or to use stereotypes, and sensationalism to belittle the choices of these men. From women, we often hear exaggerated information about how most passport brothers are looking for women who are young, who they can control, and who barely speak English. They give little thought to the idea that in many countries like The Philippines, African and South American countries, the locals are bilingual and are taught English in school.
Or worse, American and Western women seek to degrade and condescend to the women of these nations by calling them “third world” or “uneducated”. This has resulted in a “cap back” from women in Southeast Asia and the Philippines who didn’t appreciate the international disrespect.
Passport Bros Participate in a More Accessible World
Being a Passport Brother has changed my life in more ways than one. It has opened my mind, my heart, and my eyes to a new and more accessible world. I took my first flight to Southeast Asia in December 2017. I hadn’t been out of the country since I was in the US Marine Corps in Panama in the 80s. I also had never spent more than five hours on a plane. That first flight was fourteen hours from LAX to Taipei and another 3.5 hours from Taipei to Saigon. My total travel time was well over 22 hours.
Oh, and I wasn’t a fan of flying because I’m afraid of heights.
I spent a whirlwind five days in Ho Chi Minh City with my now wife, Nghīa, and I was changed forever. I loved traveling. I even loved the flight. I became an airport and AV geek. I started watching travel vloggers on YouTube and I followed a few planespotters as well. I learned the difference between Airbus and Boeing aircraft and made a point of scheduling one of my future flights on an Airbus 380, the largest commercial airplane in the world.
On my second trip to Vietnam to see Nghīa I flew EVA Airlines. I scheduled a layover in Taiwan for eight hours. By this time I had become acquainted with airport lounges and I purchased lounge access during my return flight. I booked a small room with a bed, took a hot shower, and changed clothes.
On my third trip to Vietnam, I flew with Asiana Airlines. I had a scheduled layover in South Korea and by this time I had a membership to Priority Pass for lounge access.
I started learning to speak and read Vietnamese and I bought a lifetime language learning membership to help me learn it and any other language I want to learn in the future.
I flew to Vietnam twice in 2019. Once in April and again in December. Then Covid hit and California went on lockdown on my birthday in March 2020. I didn’t travel again until April 2022.
After watching so many videos about traveling I made a list of the top 30 airports in the world I wanted to have a layover in. My dream came true when I scheduled a 9-hour layover at Changi International Airport (then the #1 rated airport in the world). I planned to visit Jewel, the $1.3 billion expansion at Changi.
Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as planned. I injured my lower back so I couldn’t explore. I had to sit in one place for the entire layover. On my very next trip, things again didn’t go as planned, and I made the return trip home alone. However, I made a point of leaving the airport to enter Singapore to visit Jewel for three hours before returning to Changi to catch a flight home.
My wife has lived in Vietnam all her life. However, I know the geography of Southeast Asia better than she does. I’m always looking at the map and I even helped her name the large bodies of water off the coast of Vietnam for an ESL class she takes.
A Foreigner’s Road to the U.S.
When I first met Nghīa she had no interest in coming to the United States. She had her life all planned out. At the time she worked for an international shoe company materials supplier in Vietnam. She had been studying English for over 4 years to pass the IELTS exam so that she could transfer within the company to an office in Europe or Japan. When we decided to be together she agreed to come to the US for a few years until my two youngest children graduated high school and I retired.
With that decision, we embarked on the K1 Visa journey, also called the Fiancé Visa. I quickly became familiar with the USCIS and read all about the process of enabling the foreign-born fiance of a US citizen to come to the US for marriage. During the process, I was contacted by the TV producers of “90-Day Fiance” three times and asked to submit my info to be on the show. Fortunately for us, we had difficulty with the visa process and couldn’t be considered for the show, which portrays foreigners as Green-card-seeking scammers.
We went through the submission process twice. We were never outright rejected, but when some questions about our submission caused delays our original petition ended up expiring. I’ll explain more in another blog post.
The proof of concept here is the bona fide relationship. You must show you are in a real relationship, in every sense of the word. Unfortunately, there is so much scuttlebutt, mythology, exaggeration, and outright lies it’s hard to know what and who to trust. Immigration lawyers have their worth in some cases but mostly just want your money. Paralegal Immigration Services, instill fear and foreboding to coax people into hiring them. And then the people that have actually gone through the process lie when they get denied.
For example, a couple that my wife knows in Vietnam has an elaborate Facebook page dedicated to their relationship, courtship, engagement party, and wedding. Why? They believe that pictures tell the entire story and are the primary source of convincing of a bona fide relationship. However, when their appointment came for a USCIS Interview at the embassy, they came home empty-handed.
The couple’s report to friends and family: “We passed the interview but they ran out of visas.”
That’s a lie. The US Embassy doesn’t “run out of visas”. It’s not like there is a stack of visas in the supply cabinet and the interviewer says, “I’d give you a visa but I don’t have anymore!” It’s a lie this couple told to save face, but now will be spread around like it a real thing.
What’s more likely to happen is this: it’s your second time going through the process (second petition) and you’ve done well on the latest interview. Unfortunately, because of human error, your first case was disposed of properly by the USCIS. Before they can issue a visa for your current case they have to render a disposition for your first case. So, despite doing everything correctly, you will leave empty-handed.
This was what happened to Nghīa and I. And it was why we couldn’t fly back to the US together. It was a stressful time but we survived thanks to Singapore Airlines. I made a video about it. Check it out, here.
Passport Bros and Retirement
Another thing many women miss about the movement is the fact that many Passport Bros like me are over the age of fifty. This means we are exploring or preparing for retirement. We are reviewing our options for income, business, remote work, Social Security payments, and pension plans. Essentially we are more interested in financial planning now than are any other age.
Some women don’t look at their financial position because they have a backup retirement plan: a man. Men aren’t awarded such a luxury. Men like me who’re in their fifties, divorced with four children, and newly married, have to pay close attention to the value of their savings, retirement funds, and their ability to produce cash flow. It’s important to look at ways to stretch our dollars.
A man planning his retirement is never more financially savvy and engaged in his financial future. Passport Bros like me are taking deep dives into our financial situation and developing plans to make our money last. Sometimes that means moving to another country. Other times it means running a side hustle or two. It may even mean starting an outright brick-and-mortar business. More often than not, it means running multiple businesses.
I’ve already made the decision that I’m going to retire to Southeast Asia. Right now I’m trying to decide whether it will be at age 62, age 65, or age 67. Hopefully, full retirement means owning land in Vietnam, and possibly Thailand or the Philippines, while I continue to operate multiple side hustles. I was fortunate enough to work in the Stock Market, in IT, and in the PR industry during my youth. I earned a significant salary during that time which paid heavily into my Social Security.
In addition to this blog, I have a YouTube channel here. I’ve also written a few sci-fi and epic fantasy books and designed journals, calendars, and Day Planners that are available on Amazon.
I also have shops on Etsy, Teepublic, and RedBubble where I design typographical T-shirts and other apparel and household items. Feel free to browse the selection of items.
In Conclusion
My Passport Brothers’ ways have given rise to many new creative interests. With these new interests come curiosity and enthusiasm. When coupled with the idea of having a partner and lover to experience everything, I feel renewed. Here are some of the new things in my life that I get to share with a new lover and friend.
Travel
I have a craving for travel now. I want to not only do much more of it, but I want to experience every annoying second, from airport queues to long flights and airplane food. I want to fly Business Class and travel to the top airports in the world. From carry-on luggage tips to first-class lounges to mastering the art of international long-haul flights, I will share all the best ways to see the world.
Immigration and USCIS
I met a guy at work who needed help and direction navigating the K1 Visa process with his Vietnamese fiance. I guided him through the process and he sent me pictures of him and his fiance. Now I want to help other Passport Brothers connect their their foreign-born lovers as well. Navigating the USCIS website, the various forms and conditions can seem overwhelming when you do it alone. My upcoming blogs about my experiences can help you feel like you have a friend beside you.
Minimalism
Multiple trips overseas and a deep consideration for relocating eight thousand miles away will make you want to reduce the junk you carry from place to place. When you start thinking about becoming an Ex-Pat, having too much stuff literally weighs you down. Minimalism is key and I’ve been studying minimalist ideas and ways to reduce, reuse, and repurpose what I have. You can’t take it with you, and you really shouldn’t want to do so.
Language and Culture
I’ve worked in a tightly-knit Vietnamese community for a decade. Still, I never learned as much as I did after spending two weeks in Vietnam. Everything became clearer and more familiar. I want to master Vietnamese since I’ve always wanted to be bilingual. I started out using a free 30-day trial of Rosetta Stone. From there I signed up for one one-year subscription. Life got in the way and I wasn’t able to make the most of it. Luckily I learned of Rosetta Stone’s Lifetime Access for 25 Languages. I jumped on it!
I’ve studied on my own for three years using this premiere language learning software. I’ll be sharing tips and techniques that help me along the way. Next on my list are Mandarin Chinese, French, and Farsi.
Financial Planning
I’ve worked on Wall Street for some of the top brokerage companies, including E.F. Hutton, Smith Barney, and Bear Stearns. Recently I spent four years with Primerica and I acquired my California Life Agent license. I also took the test for the Series 6/63 Exam. With this experience under my belt as well as a slew of online businesses, side hustle services, and ten years in the entertainment industry I feel I am more prepared than most to tackle to conundrum of retirement planning. Everyone speaks the language of money, and I’ll share the best practices I uncover.
You can’t become Financially Free while carrying debt from month to month. The quickest way to financial freedom is to rapidly reduce and then eliminate your existing debt and stop acquiring new debt. There are two widely known methods for debt reduction:
SNOWBALL METHOD (pay down small debts first for an emotional WIN)
AVALANCE METHOD (pay down high interest first to minimize interest payments)
There is also the 50/30/20 Rule. Generally speaking, the 50/30/20 Rule requires you to divide your finances into Needs, Wants, and Savings. From there you are instructed to reserve 50% of your post-tax income for Needs, 30% for Wants, and 20% for Savings.
The next step is to minimize your expenses. The 50/30/20 Rule offers birdseye insight into your finances and can help you reduce your expenses. I am a big guy and I love my full-sized SUVs, but the price of gas was just too much to bear. I traded in a $100/week petrol bill for a mere $35 (in 2021) by downgrading to a compact fuel-efficient sedan.
Tips For Passport Bros
All the above tips and more are available to my Passport Bros all around the world. From the US to the UK, wise men are going their own way, focusing on themselves, and putting in the effort to find suitable wives. I aim to help these bros, and you, in any way I can.
Good luck.