I got my start working with technology at Digital Equipment Corporation. All we did was swap out parts and monitors until IBM came out with a Personal Computer: the PC.
Then I had to learn MS-DOS and eventually Windows 3.1. I had a company car, and I serviced all of Queens, NY. The funny thing is I had a colleague named Angelo too, but he was Greek.
I burned out after a few years and I was done with tech.
From NY to LA
I moved from NY to LA in my quest to become a Hollywood screenwriter. I needed a real job so I worked in the operations department of a public relations company. I supported accounting and the Network Administrator.
The NA got fired and I was promoted to Operations Manager. Unfortunately, I decided to get my network certification in Novell NetWare instead of Windows Server. The next year the company switched over to Windows Server 3.51.
In the meantime, my scripts were being read by Hollywood agents for people like Laurence Fishburne, but I wasn’t cutting it.
I stayed in the tech field because the money was lovely but I continued to write and submit my work to screenwriting contests. Quentin Tarantino burst into the Hollywood scene followed by Robert Rodriguez. I read Robert’s book, Rebel Without A Crew, and that’s when I got the brilliant idea to make an independent low-budget movie.
Screenwriter to Filmmaker
I knew nothing about making movies, cameras, directing, producing, etc. I also didn’t have any equipment. (This was long before the iPhone came out).
I spent a year studying cinematography, film production, directing, and acting. All the while I was running several side hustles to make money to buy the equipment I needed.
By this time I had gotten married and had two children and a condo. I was working with another PR agency and I was getting bonuses for Christmas and the end of the year that I set aside for my film production fund.
In 2003 I made a short film called Get Spielberg! It was a farce about four desperate actors who kidnapped a Hollywood director to force him to greenlight their film. It was cheesy and a lot of fun.
I made a lot of friends who were aspiring actors and filmmakers. I went all out the following year and made a feature-length low-budget film called Sex Shoes & Unicorns. I met more actors and filmmakers and partnered with a fellow Univesity of Phoenix student to make films and shoot weddings.
One Year, Six Indie Films
I shot a few weddings and corporate videos, and then in 2006 we shot six short films.
Then we made:
The First Time, and
It was crazy. At the end of the year, we entered the Los Angeles Shorts Festival. All four films we submitted were accepted. I was the only director with three films, and the only production company with four films in the event.
I don’t think anyone noticed. So In 2009 I went back and made a higher quality no-budget indie film called Resurrection of Serious Rogers. It was a genre flick with a nod to B-movies.
I started to pitch RSR to distribution studios and I connected with the Independent Film and Television Alliance (IFTA). IFTA connected me to NBCUniversal Television Studios.
I acquired limited TV distribution deals for Broken Hearts Club and Resurrection of Serious Rogers, and then TV production caught my attention in a big way.
I Wanna Make Television Shows
Suddenly, I was part of a whirlwind 4-year program to connect independent film producers to TV execs to develop and pitch new TV show ideas.
The first year I had such anxiety about “pitching” that I refused to do it in person. I crafted pitch documents using my experience in PR and PowerPoint and emailed them to the TV execs.
At the beginning of year two, there was a briefing meeting and I discovered that my peers had had several in-person pitch meetings! I was mortified. I decided it was now or never to pitch in person like the rest of society.
Good In A Room
I squared up and got down to business to polish my idea and prepare myself for pitching. I knew I would be nervous as hell. To combat that I decided to start each pitch meeting by admitting the obvious: I was nervous. I said it, got it out of the way and then proceeded with my spiel.
In year two I had four in-person pitch meetings. I was good in the room. I was always nervous, but I always used it. In year three I had eight pitch meetings. We kept hearing things like, “We wish we had this last year,” or “We have a project in development with a similar concept.”
I was getting close. But —
I had a major health crisis during the third year that nearly took my life. Oh, and I was divorced by this time too.
In year four I had too many pitch meetings to count. I met with all of the following, sometimes more than once:
- NBC Alternative Programming
- NBC Drama
- NBC Comedy
- Syfy
- Sprout
- Bravo
- Oxygen
- E! Entertainment
- Esquire
- USA Network
- Chiller
Because of the health crisis I mentioned earlier, I no longer had my ride. I had to take public transportation to these meetings and would often be on a bus or train for 2 hours before and after the meeting.
Still, I persevered. There were times I had several pitch meetings in one day. I was on fire.
I managed to get TV pilot development deals for two projects with two separate teams. I put a huge opportunity and tens of thousands of dollars into the pockets of three individuals who only needed to work with me to help me create feasible TV shows for Bravo and USA.
Bad Luck: Where Greed Ruins An Opportunity
Unfortunately, there is no happy ending. All three people got greedy, short-sighted, and pretentious. They thought they knew more than I did despite my measurable success. As in the quintessential Hollywood story, they stabbed me in the back and ruined the opportunity.
I took the money and cried (basically). I stepped away from the business. My passion was drained.
During this time I was still dating occasionally. To be honest, I was left quite bitter from my divorce so nothing was going on too seriously. I wish I had gotten a whiff of Red Pill at this time. This isn’t to say that I believe in everything Red Pill, but it certainly would have gotten me out of my funk, at the very least.
I returned to the gym and I was very committed to it. I hit the weights hard, against the doctor’s orders, and it felt great. I started to transform my body.
Little Saigon
Then I met a young Vietnamese woman named Thao and we started kind of, sort of, dating. She was twenty years younger than I was so it helped that I was in the gym often.
I was still plagued by the bitterness of my divorce so when things got serious between us I behaved poorly. It was 100% my fault.
When my relationship with Thao ended I realized that I could probably stand to be in a serious relationship again once I got my shit together. What’s more, I welcomed the idea of being in a relationship again.
That’s when a coworker introduced me to Nghia via Facebook.
For the Love of English
I wasn’t interested in having a long-distance relationship, but Nghia was studying English and I wanted someone to help me with Vietnamese since I worked in a Vietnamese community.
At the time I knew nothing about the concept of women being more traditional in Southeast Asia. However, I recognized certain activities within the Vietnamese community. Vietnamese American men weren’t marrying Vietnamese American women. They were returning to Vietnam to find a wife.
Nghia and I spoke often and for hours at a time. I would speak to her at work, or while she was studying her English homework. We began to flirt and talk about what it would be like to meet in person.
I soon noticed how happy Nghia looked when I called. There was no pretense, no gamesmanship, and no fake-outs. She was pleased when I called, so she looked pleased.
I thought to myself, “Oh my God. She likes me.”
One discussion led to another and Nghia and I agreed to meet in person. It was much easier for me to fly out to Vietnam so I planned a trip in December 2017. I took one week of vacation and booked a hotel and an expensive flight.
My Love of Travel Begins
I love planes and the magic of air travel, but I’m not fond of heights thus I have a weird love/hate relationship with flying. I spent over 26 hours going to Vietnam, but I reveled in every minute of it–except the turbulence.
Nghia and I spent five days together. We visited coffee shops, ate Japanese food, and drank lots of Vietnamese coffee. We took a scooter tour through Districts 1, 4, and 7 the night before my flight. Finally, on the sixth day, Nghia escorted me back to Tan Son Nhat Airport for my return flight to the US.
We got there early and the airport was crowded so we sat on benches outside. Everyone stared, wondering who was the big handsome Black guy with the petite Vietnamese woman.
Immigration 101: USCIS
She cried as I boarded the plane. I wondered when I’d get a chance to return. Three months later, after studying all the ways to get a visa to bring Nghia to the US, I filed the K1 (Fiancé) Visa Petition.
I learned a lot about what to do and what not to do regarding the visa process. The Trump Administration clamped down on immigration and we were asked to supply more information to the USCIS.
We had our first interview, which I did not attend. Nghia did not get the visa at the end of the interview. I prepared a ton of additional paperwork and I made plans to see her again.
On my next visit to Vietnam, I stayed for two weeks. I did the tourist thing for the first week in Saigon (Ho Chi Minh City). We visited landmarks, museums, and attractions.
During the second week, we took a bus and stayed with her parents about thirty minutes from Phan Tiet.
I met many of Nghia’s friends and family. They even had a party in my honor. We sang karaoke and drank lots of beer and rice wince
All the men tried to drink me under the table. They couldn’t do it.
Outbreak
Six months later I flew out to Vietnam again in December 2019. Around this time there were horrible stories of a viral outbreak in China.
Nghia and I waited for word from the USCIS and the State Dept on the status of our case. Unfortunately, when the word did arrive, it was bad news. Our petition had expired.
Three months later, on my birthday in 2020, Governor Newsom shut down the state of California for everyone but essential workers. Within months, global air travel was shut down and I had no idea when I’d ever be able to fly out of the country.
Vietnam went on lockdown too, and foreigners weren’t allowed in. Planes were grounded worldwide. The world was closed off. Our visa petition had crashed and burned.
I had moved to a larger more expensive apartment during Covid-19 in preparation for Nghia’s arrival. Now we didn’t know when she’d come to America. Still, it was good to say goodbye to my former Taiwanese roommate.
Visa from Scratch
We started from scratch. New year. New petition. New home.
By this time I had amassed letters from my Congressman and State Assemblyperson to advocate for Nghia’s visa.
At work, I was responsible for managing a million-dollar security account for the client. I banked my vacation time to prepare for my next trip to Vietnam.
I started watching a lot of travel vloggers on YouTube, and they helped me get familiar with the countries in Southeast Asia and Northern Africa that I wanted to visit.
I had very little interest in visiting Europe, except Turkey and Greece,
I used my USMC map reading skills to bolster my global geographical awareness. I pinpointed areas of interest in Thailand (Chiang Mai, Bangkok), Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur), Cambodia, South Korea, Singapore and Japan.
Going Back to Saigon
I wanted to travel so badly I could taste it.
When the world started to open up again I immediately booked a flight back to Vietnam. I booked the flight on Singapore Airlines with a long layover at Changi Airport to allow me to see Jewel.
This time, Nghia and I planned to visit Da Nang. We took a flight up on Vietnam Airlines. We visited Ba Na Hills and saw the Golden Bridge. Again, my fear of heights gave me a love/hate relationship with the bridge and the long cable car ride up.
Our plans changed when I got food poisoning. Luckily I made it back on the plane safely but our plans to visit her parents fell through. There was no way I’d survive a 5-hour bus ride.
On my way home I had a planned layover in Singapore at Changi Airport. In transfer, I tweaked my back and set off my sciatica. I spent 8 torturous hours in the airport barely able to walk around. My dreams of seeing the waterfall in Jewel and eating at Shake Shack were dashed.
Fast forward one year and I’m on my way back to Vietnam once again on Singapore Airlines. This time Nghia and I have a scheduled interview at the US Consulate for her visa.
Things did not go as planned. But that’s another story.
A Passport Bros Life: Look At Me Now
Nghia and I are trying to make the most of our life together now that she is in the United States. I would never have imagined how pleasantly simple my life would become. I could never fathom how little stress she’d add to my life.
It is true, people. Don’t let fear or misandry steer your decision. There is a marked difference between modern Western women and women born and raised overseas. It’s not about servanthood, lack of education, or the ability to speak English. That’s what Modern Women, especially American Women will try to shame you into believing.
Women in Southeast Asia grow up knowing that a man has a place in their lives and an esteemed role in families and society. They accept that as a woman, they are different. They don’t want to be a man, act like a man, or do the things that men traditionally do. They are completely satisfied being a woman.
These women have a focus that starts with family, not with me, me, me, me, me.
As an OG Passport Brother going on six years now I can only dream and fantasize about if I had made this decision sooner. It’s not always perfect and it’s not supposed to be. But it’s consistently a better relationship than any I’ve ever had in my life.
I am a writer so I want to share my experiences with creativity and humor to help aspiring Passport Bros prepare themselves for a life that will support and nurture them.
Become A Man First. Date Later.
Remember, it begins with the man first. A man must build himself. He must make something of himself. He doesn’t have to follow a conventional rule or get a typical job, but he must earn money, be strong, and be resilient.
I’ve broken it down using my experience and I believe an aspiring Passport Bros should master these areas: