We Fucked Up
Hello everyone! I wanted to take a quick moment to draft this blog post to give you an update on our recent Change of Status interview with the USCIS. This is the interview that “proves” our marriage is bona fide, and facilitates my wife Nghia’s transition into Permanent Resident status.
The Trouble With Getting to the USCIS Federal Building
Our interview was scheduled in late February and Nghia and I were very excited to get through it. We were also quite nervous. We woke up at 5 am to get there before 7 am. We arrived on time and there was a long line of people waiting to enter the building.
After waiting in line for approximately 20 minutes an officer came and separated certain people from the existing line and formed a new line. I believe these were people who had scheduled interviews, the primary line was for people who were going to immigration court.
Once we got inside there was no more information on what to do so I took it upon myself to check our appointment information and I found the floor and room number we were supposed to go to. We went upstairs and to the correct room number and then they sent us to a separate room where we checked in and then were sent back to the primary room which was starting to fill up with other people like us.
I do have to say that being in a situation like this, where everyone knows what the ultimate goal is, and that’s to have permanent residency in the United States, and or to become a naturalized citizen, everyone is quite friendly. We are all in it together so to speak.
The Trouble With ‘Hurry Up and Wait’
Nghia and I waited for a little while and then we went into the back room when we were called. Our interviewer was a man named Michael and on my way in he made some references to my military background armed forces. I had to correct him and remind him that I was in the United States Marine Corps, not the Army. And I began to think that I was wondering if this was some sort of test. He did say that he was also in the armed forces and that was supposedly a point of possible camaraderie between the two of us.
We got inside and we sat down and he was very polite but he was also – very stern I guess is the best word. He always said “please,” and “thank you” but he was very quick to point out if we were missing crucial elements of paperwork or if we had not prepared something in a manner that it could be received by them. For example, some of our paperwork was not notarized. That meant several of the letters I submitted were inadmissible to prove our bona fide marriage.
Nevertheless, he was very pleasant to the point where we started the question and answer. However, he was quite serious when he mentioned that there were certain things that we were missing and it lent itself to to him raising concerns about the truthfulness of our marriage.
The Trouble With Establishing a Bona-Fide Marriage
Needless to say at this point you know my mind is swirling because never in a million years that I think that someone would be standing opposite me telling me or questioning whether or not my marriage was a real marriage or not. I made an effort to remain calm cuz I usually get very passionate about things like this. We just made a point of trying to answer his questions directly and also asking for clarification if we didn’t understand something.
Note: the items listed as examples of things you can bring to prove your marriage is bona fide are not suggestions. I always say you have to over-deliver. But first, you have to deliver what they expect.
After a few questions, he reiterated his concerns and he said he wanted to do a marriage separation interview. This is when he conducts two interviews with each party alone.
The interesting about the marriage separation interview was that I went first. In hindsight, it makes sense because I am a US citizen. They are there essentially to protect the rights of the country and the rights of its citizens, that’s me. So basically the USCIS acts like my protector, my ally to make sure that I am engaged in a truthful relationship and not being deceived. This has never occurred to me before but when he said the words they made perfect sense.
The Trouble With the Marriage Separation Interview
This explains why he then began to speak to me kind of like an older brother quizzing his younger brother about his relationship. He asked me a bunch of questions and essentially was trying to figure out if I had had any concerns about my wife’s intentions. I told him the truth which was I never had any concerns and that I only thought about this whole fraud stuff when people mentioned it to me.
I also gave him some instances of when people that I work with in the Vietnamese community were essentially looking out for my best interest and trying to find out about my fiance and or making a point of actually meeting her.
Then we went into the usual questions and answers that you hear or see videos about on YouTube. Some of the videos I’ve seen with the role-playing acts doing mock interviews are laughable, but being in the situation is nothing to laugh at.
I’m not sure how many questions he asked me but I’m going to say somewhere between seven and ten with some thorough discussions in between those questions. Then we swapped places I went outside and my wife went inside to meet with the interviewer.
I went to the waiting room and at that point, I had pretty much resigned myself that this was going to be a situation that required what they call an RFE or a Request for Evidence and that we would need to provide some additional documentation. No sweat! No big deal It was just going to delay the process a little bit.
The good thing in the back of my mind was that Nghia had already received her EAD (Employment Authorization Document) and her Social Security number so she was legally authorized to work if she wanted to. This had been her major concern.
I have to say that a lot of the Stress and Anxiety that comes with this is hearing bullshit stories from everybody around us talking about how easy it was for them or how short it was for them and quite frankly I don’t believe any of it. People always try to make it seem like they are special or their situation is special and therefore they received some sort of magical treatment that facilitated their process by light years. It’s b*******. They Lie. I don’t know why they lie, but they do.
Everybody is different, every situation is different and every interviewer is different.
By that I mean you can have the perfect relationship with perfect documentation perfect photos and a perfect lawyer, but if your interviewer doesn’t have compassion your interview results will be far from perfect.
The Trouble With Having A Perfect Wife
Our situation and documentation were not perfect but our responses were near perfect and we had a very compassionate interviewer. I think that for the second time God or the Universe or whatever put someone in our path to help us overcome tough situations. I’ll tell you a little bit more about that soon.
So, I’m sitting in the waiting room and I’ve already decided that we have to go home and pick up some new paperwork or create some new documentation or fill out some new forms or blah blah blah. so now I’m at ease and I’m ready to take a nap because we have been up since 5:00 a.m..
I’m sure I was on the verge of snoring when I heard Nghia call my name. I followed her back down the hallway to the back entrance where the interview was waiting for us and we went back inside. His serious demeanor that he displayed with me was gone and now he was this smiling playful happy guy.
This is not to say that he wasn’t pleasant through the entire process, but as I said when we spoke one-on-one he was very serious about his role as a protector to a citizen of the United States. I still appreciate that.
So we sat down and I was ready to hear whatever he had to explain based on what transpired with Nghia’s question and answer session, and I was quite literally shocked when he essentially said that we would move forward.
Nghia and I have talked about what transpired during her question and answer. and I will discuss more of that later but quite frankly I told her that whatever she said to him during that time saved us a lot of hard work. Because the dude had gone from protector and savior of a US citizen to now being a jovial guy who seemed like he couldn’t wait for us to start our married life together. He did say that she had answered his questions extremely well.
Nghia single-handedly saved our situation with her responses! More on that later.
From that point, we discussed with an air of levity what needed to be done, because they’re still needed to be some corrections made and this gentleman still has a job to do. He gave us his personal contact information so that we could submit our work directly to him rather than have it go through the entire USCIS processing center process. This will save us months. He also gave us a document explicitly telling us what documents we needed to provide and he told me why those documents were necessary from their point of view.
What could have ended up in a disaster ended up with this gentleman shaking both of our hands on the way out and telling us that he wished more of his couples were like us. Coming from a guy whose job it is sometimes to break couples up, this was an extreme compliment and a testament to the strength and transcendency of my love and relationship with Nghia.
More is coming via YouTube and additional blog posts. I also want to talk about the stunning news we heard about hour first attempt at the K1 Visa, We finally found out the truth.
Until then, I am preparing extra documents to send to our friends at the USCIS.
